« 新レーベル | Main | 麻酔が切れました。 »

2007.05.24

ケロイド切除手術

今朝ケロイドの手術を外来オペで受けてきました。

このケロイド、直径3センチほどで右肩の背中あたりに出来てしまい、仰向けに寝ると圧迫されて血が止まってしまうのですよ。腕が冷たくなって目覚めることもあるし、何よりも酷い肩こりになってですね、取ってしまおうというわけです。

8:30分、
受付を済ます。

9:00分、
浴衣のような服を着替えさせられて手術室へ。
手術開始。

まずはベッドに寝かされる。しかしメガネを掛けていないので枕の方に足を置こうとしてしまう(笑)
うつぶせに寝ると布を被される。
心電図のセンサを胸、左右の肩辺りに貼られる。人差し指にも洗濯バサミのようなセンサを挟む。
心電図の『プ……、プ……、プ……、」という音が規則正しく鳴りはじめる。緊張のため血圧が上がっているのかかなりアップテンポ。

局部麻酔。
これが一番痛かった。
しかし撃っている途中から麻酔が効き始めたのか、感覚がなくなってくる。

そこから切除手術。
もぞもぞとマッサージされているような感覚。時々先生が道具の指示をしている。しかしツーカーでいかないときがあり、先生が、

『15番』

といっても助手が聞き返して、

『15番メス

と言い直したり。
正直、手術中に『メス』なんていう刺激的な言葉は聞きたくなかったところです。

あとは『ゴーマルナイロン』や『サンマルなんとか』やら。

9:40分
しかし手術を受ける前は緊張していたわけですけどね、痛みが全くなく、マッサージを受けているような感触ですから徐々に余裕が出てくるわけです。

しかし身動きさえ許されていないわけでして、何も出来ない。
そこで視界に入ってきたのが目の前の人差し指だったわけですよ。

人間って言うのはなにを考えるか分からないもので、ちょっとしたイタズラ心が芽生えてしまったわけです。

『……この人差し指の血を止めてみたらどうなるだろうか……?』

…………実際にやってみましたよ。

『プッ……、プッ……、…………………………(心停止)』

まさかここまでダイレクトに反応してくれるとは思ってなく、ものすごく笑いがこみ上げてきました。しかし笑うわけにもいかない。必死に笑いを堪えていると心拍数も上がってきてそれが更に笑いに拍車を掛けてしまうのですよ。

笑いを堪えながらもプルプルと震えていると、助手さんが、『大丈夫ですか!? 痛いんですか!?』なんて聞いてくるものだからついに噴出してしまいました…………ホント、済みません。ごめんなさい。

 

何はともあれ、1時間で手術は終了。
痛みは最初の注射だけで、あとはマッサージを受けているような感覚でした。傷口を見たいところですが、はがしちゃダメよ的にがっちりとテーピングされているので覗くこともできません。
明日からは消毒のためにしばらく通院が続きそうです。

しかし先生が何回かに分けて切ると仰っていましたが……また手術中に笑いがこみ上げてきたらどうしようかしら……。

最大の敵は痛みではなく笑いを堪えることになりそうです。

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Comments

手術中にそんな事をしてしまうなんて・・・

流石です(笑

自分も事故で手術っぽいことしたけど、
その時は痛みとの戦いだったからなぁ・・・

医学も進歩してるのかな。

Posted by: Tam | 2007.05.24 at 14:14

いやいやそれほどでも(笑

しかし麻酔が切れてから右腕が痺れてキーボード打つのも大変なほどですよ。痛みで脂汗が止まりませんしw

それでもミラルーツは気合で狩りに行きますけどねー。

Posted by: tetsu@管理人 | 2007.05.25 at 16:04


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